In an article for CNBC.com, Professor Ivan Misner, the founder of Business Networking International (BNI), and author of Networking Like a Pro: Turning Contacts into Connections, wrote: The only way you’ll benefit from social media is to build relationships with your online friends through engaging in the conversations you start. Otherwise, you’ll quickly earn a reputation […]
Daniel Ben-Horin, CEO of TechSoup Global, wrote a guest post on TacticalPhilanthropy.com about “Collaboration, Innovation and Noise,” in which he said: No one is forced to follow anyone or friend anyone. Think of the numbers in context. What does it mean to have 200,000 Twitter followers? Are they the kind of followers who follow a thousand […]
Here’s food for thought from one of the world’s greatest thinkers. In his essay, The World as I See It, Albert Einstein wrote: (on relativity 🙂 …without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people — first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is […]
“We may enjoy online relationships using social media sites like Facebook or Twitter, for example, but the difference between these kinds of interactions and interactions with people in the physical world is clearly vast,” according to Alex Lickerman, M.D. In his recent article in Psychology Today, Dr. Lickerman wrote: As long as we expect no […]
Friendship in real life is a never ending circle of love and mutual support. Friends want to help each other without keeping score. They just care and want to help. Reciprocity comes naturally and without obligation. When I think of all the many things that friends have done for me and that I have done […]
Real relationships are precious treasures, but those of us who spend a lot of time “networking” tend to accumulate a backlog of contacts that may seem overwhelming. Personally, I enjoy meeting new people more than I enjoy following up. From a relationship building point of view that seems backwards. I have to remind myself that nurturing special relationships is like cultivating a garden. Flowers will bloom after a season of watering and fertilizing.
“Real relationships” can be online OR offline. When I describe my mission to “turn friends and followers into real relationships,” I do not necessarily mean to move them offline, as in the movie You’ve Got Mail. Online relationships can be very real, as illustrated by the article excerpted below, which (surprisingly) was written decades ago, when “social media” meant primarily AOL chat rooms!
I love my son Art, and I’m very proud of him. Honestly, I wish our relationship were much closer. My challenge is that he lives at a distance of literally thousands of miles, and I find it difficult to keep in touch. It is my fault. I am shy about expressing my feelings. I have […]
Relationships with leaders who are “centers of influence,” can empower us to take social networking to a higher level. It’s wise to reach out to our heroes and ask to become their friend. Let’s not be shy when we have the opportunity to connect with those who have blazed the trail we want to follow. […]
Relationships come in many varieties. All are important. Camelot, the movie or the play, dramatically demonstrates the dominant role that relationships play in life. The drama revolves around conflicts between marital loyalty, Platonic friendship (King Arthur and Sir Lancelot), military alliances (the “Round Table”), sexual desire and romantic love (Lancelot and Queen Guinevere). The dream of the great […]
Online Relationships Love begins with contact, online or offline. I have several personal friends who met strangers online, developed relationships, and have been happily married for a decade or more to persons they met online. One happy couple met playing cards online. Those relationships are worth a thousand other Facebook Friends. The key is that […]
I love the lyrics of songs of friendship and love, like “You Needed Me,” and “We All Need Somebody To Lean On.” I think they convey in poetry and music the positive interdependence of social beings. One of my favorites, by the Beatles: Do you need anybody, I just need somebody to love, Could it […]
Relationship interdependence is about making connections and becoming allies or forming partnerships with other human beings. Relationships are inherently interdependent. Of course, they have value, per se, in the emotional realm. Above all, friendship is good for its own sake! But relationships also involve being there for each other in times of need. An indication […]
Relationship cultivation is like growing a rose garden. And I did “promise you a rose garden!” The relationship must be nurtured or else it will whither. Note the fact that it is no accident that the strength of a friendship or family relationship may increase or decrease over time. It is very sad when […]
Magnetic Personality Attractive personality characteristics, like charm and charisma, normally radiate naturally from the authentic heart of a person. Although charm and charisma are powerful leadership qualities, attempting to display them deliberately is risky. Appearing phony or self-conscious would be counter-productive for a wannabe leader. Sincerity is just as powerful and attractive as charisma. […]
Non-Verbal Communication 93% / 7% Social Psychologists generally subscribe to the theory that “93% of interpersonal communication is non-verbal, and only 7 % is content.” Geoff Snyder’s leadership blog describes the components well: Almost every facet of our personality is revealed through our appearance, our body language, our gestures, our facials expressions, our overall demeanor, and our posture […]
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Your actions speak so loudly, I can’t hear what you say.” Now that millions of people want to communicate on the internet, what kind of actions are going to be “speaking” for us? Probably the most important action is to reply and respond when someone contacts you, e.g., by Facebook message or comments […]
If you had unlimited wealth, wouldn’t you like to share some? The good news is that you DO have a virtual fortune in gems that are better than money! Pay attention! Here is the secret of successful leadership…pay attention! Rather invest attention. Attention and recognition are better than money. Psychologists believe that attention and recognition […]
“Social Treasure” is too often taken for granted and neglected. Unfortunately, we often let precious relationships die on the vine, while we are distracted by mundane trivia or focused on seeking more new contacts. As a man, I was never a Girl Scout or a Campfire Girl 🙂 However, I heard that they had a wise […]
Leverage is the key to major success in any endeavor. There are many kinds of leverage. Leveraging “social capital” is my favorite! When you leverage relationships, we call it “networking.” You are actually leveraging trust and influence, as well as knowledge, resources, and contacts. It is similar to leveraging financial capital — like you do […]
Social Media provide new, and perhaps more efficient, tools for communication, but let’s not forget what they’re for! Social media is bringing relationships back to business. An interesting article in Search Engine Guide reminds me of the movie, Back to the Future. In her post, “How Social Media (Didn’t) Change Business,” Jennifer Laycock points out […]
“Belonging” is one of the more basic needs in Mazlow’s Hierarchy of human needs, where it comes just above health and safety. Fulfillment of the need for belonging can be satisfied by social media groups and online tribes, such as “the Unified Tribe.” People are basically social beings! Of course, membership in groups and tribes […]
A “community” is basically a social group sharing an environment. During most of human history, people were born into their community — their physical or social environment, (perhaps their caste or class). More recently membership in a community has become a matter of choice. Many people choose an “intentional community” in the physical world or a “virtual […]
Lasting friendships usually begin with shared interests. One of the quickest and easiest ways to find friends is to participate in groups and activities in which you are sincerely interested. Conversation is easy and comfortable when you interact with others who are interested in the same things. You can act naturally and be your authentic […]
“People who need people are the luckiest people in the world,” according to Barbara Streisand’s song from Funny Girl. It’s a beautiful song! To hear Barbara sing it, click here (mp3). I say, if you want to get lucky and be in the right place at the right time, be in a lot of […]
